This is a parody post. Thanks for reading!
Grand Theft Auto V is the worst game in recent memory, full of abhorrent crimes against the player and the industry. Let’s see;
- No Prone – seriously this game with a budget of $265mil / £170mil doesn’t allow you to hug the floor in the event of, say, a gunfight perhaps?
- The story is so long and filled with errand side quests that bog you down and characters I don’t know about or care for.
- Why are missions marked as letters? Why is the HUD so small? Why can’t I tell how much health I have?
- And half the menu’s on a tiny phone too!
- Only the bottom part of the map is city, the rest is useless wilderness.
- The cops killed me for being a black guy and punching a white guy who tried to run me over – this is too realistic, games are escapism.
- It’s not explained how or why the trio have slow-mo and reflex superpowers.
- Driving physics are equal to ‘me trying to ice skate’ physics
- No music when I get out of a vehicle = how do I set the tone and the mood now?
- GTA Online isn’t a tranquil, happy and merry place to play.
- NO I DIDN’T MEAN TO PUNCH THE BYSTANDER, SHOOT THE ENEMY! WHY ARE THEY THE SAME BUTTON?!
- NO SHOOT THE OTHER ENEMY, LOCK ON SUCKS!
- Trevor is scary.
Hence why this game is the worst of games.